Phasing Out ‘Phase’ For Bisexual Women
The bisexual is something of a myth in our present culture. The bisexual boy is no more than confused, not yet ready to identify as homosexual yet; the bisexual girl is experimenting with her friends before settling down into that all too familiar heterosexually normative lifestyle.
WRONG.
Bisexuality is here, queer and staying! It has also been around since the creation of humankind, as has been documented in ancient Rome, Egypt and a plethora of other cultures and societies that have come and gone. Why is it so difficult for us to accept?
Lisa Diamond, associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, performed a study recently as was reported by USA Today earlier this month (“Women’s bisexuality an ‘identity,’ not phase” by Sharon Jayson). After following 79 non-heterosexual women for a decade, Diamond determined that “being bisexual is a distinct orientation, not a temporary stage.” Furthermore, Diamond reported that most women “‘possess the capacity to experience sexual desires for both sexes, under the right circumstances.’”
Coming out as bisexual is fraught with troubles for the individual declaring their identity. For one, parents who have always dreamt of a wedding and grandchildren with a loving husband must rewrite their expectations. More than likely, they will consider their so-called bisexual daughter as going through a phase that will end at some point, allowing her to fulfill that primary, normative dream. Many bisexual men and women think it would be much easier to just be full-on gay which would force their parents to accept them instead of equivocate and continue to shove heterosexuality down their throats.
Diamond has a response for the ‘phase’ theory: “‘If it was a phase, it should have burnt out…They might have a change in identity and relationships, but that pattern of non-exclusive desire is still there, even among those who have married. It debunks the notion of it being a phase.”
This is big news for a group of people who have been chastised within their own LGBT minority group. Even in pro-gay shows like The L Word, bisexual characters are told to “choose already” (thanks Dana!). They are consistently misunderstood and, many times, invisible. If not, they are conflicted about whether they fit in with the gays or the straights, often attempting to sit on the fence between the two.
“The bisexual point of view has been and is still sorely missing from the public health discourse in our country and throughout the world,” wrote Former President of BiNet USA, Luigi Ferrer, M.S. in the Bisexual Health Report of 2007. If you think about it, bisexuals could theoretically pose the largest threat to the population’s health by transferring STDs and the like to partners of multiple sexes (NOTE: I do not personally believe in the sexual binary of man/woman). The HIV/AIDS epidemic comes to mind here. Ferrer continues, announcing that “nearly 19 percent of women and nearly 6 percent of men said they were attracted to men and women” back in 1992. I would not be surprised if that number was much higher, knowing how closeted people are. The medical field should have been aware of the presence of bisexuality a long time ago.
A fairly common answer bisexuals have when it comes to attraction is, ‘It’s not the sex or gender, but how I’m attracted to a person.’ For individuals on the far side of the spectrum (completely gay or completely straight), this can be difficult to understand. But in a time of ever-growing sexual acceptance, perhaps those who are confused by the bis will open their minds and offer a little more acceptance in the years to come.
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